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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

~ 4:51 PM ~

I've been feeling rather depressed lately. Most of you would know that its because of a row that i had with a certain friend. At first i was kinda happy that she was out of my life. but now, its eating away at me. I cant sleep at night. Man it was so bad that i fell asleep in SS. That stupid Nicholas W ( aka ( only i can use that name. Dun try to copy it) Ah Pang pang) then insulted me for falling asleep that only served to fuel my rage. and ended up with my shoving him against a wall. sadly, Rm pulled me away saying that the lesson was about forgiving and forgetting. Yea sure, I'll forgive him... Right after i dau pok him next week.

Damn. I hate this. Some ppl say that my life is difficult. I don't think. Its just that i deal with my problems in a non-stressful way. Unlike "her" who vents about it to every one. I don't think that is the best way. Venting will leave you confused as different ppl will have different views and you can't decide which is the best one. But then again...by not trying to do anything and waiting for the other person to make the first move, that's even worse.

Some one said that teenagers need to know that some one is there for them. If they lack in that, it affects their lives when they go into the working world. I don't want to end up like that but neither do i want to lean on somebody. I prefer to have ppl lean on me. It makes me feel weak if i lean on some body.

When you know that some is true but you don't want to believe it, you will come out saying that is isnt until it sinks in. I just dismissed it. I thought she was a real friend. She didnt really care that much though. It was really obvious. Even a fool could've seen that. But yet i was still oblivious to it. I guess that i didn't want to believe it, even though it was glaringly obvious.

Maybe, it was just because i thought she would understand me. I was wrong. She never did and never will. I hope that we will apologise can get on with our lives. But we will never be friends again. Her hatred toward a certain some one was what caused the end of our friendship. Hatred. I dont know why she had to. there was no reason for her to hate her. What did she ever do to her? I dont know.

If she ever apologizes, I will forgive her but i think that she has ruined her friend ship by posting all the fights we had online on her blog. When i tried to ask her why, she just said for fun. When i asked her why didn't she post her conversations with other ppl, she had nothing to say. I had planned for this to happen because a while ago, i realised that we were not friends at all. Me being me couldn't say it to her face.

If she ever reads this ( which i don't think she will ) she should know that she brought this about herself. She said that i was accusing her. Well, she also accused me and never bothered to think of that. She says that some ppl are too poor to buy their own style. Don't all of us follow what the trends in the magazines. No one has views on a matter that no one else in the world have.

We all follow a style created by some one. Our attitudes will not be the same. thats wat defines us as us. our attitudes are all different. U may find a lot of ppl that follow the same style and ideas as you. But that doesn't mean that they are copying you. If some one thinks that you are great and amazing and copy everything you do. That means that you have made an impact on anothers life. Don't accuse them of being too poor to buy their own style. After all most of us just follow what is there in tabloids.

I know its 1 am but i think im gonna post it to nite after i edit a few things. If she learns not to involve herself in such things and act a little more appropriately more ppl would like her. ( she should know what i mean by that)

But no one is even going to listen to this. She has a way of making every one believe her side of the story and not listen to the other. I don't know why. some times i think she like to be too meddle-some. Why should she care what another persons family income is? Its not her business. And why should she care. For god's sake, shes still only 12. Worry about this kinda stuff when you graduate from uni.

Don't judge others by their cover. You may not even know what excatly doing to them. They play along with you thinking something else. You should be happy that she didn't go venting to other ppl about how horrible you were for saying bad stuff about her. You should really be happy that I don't go venting. You should be glad. But you can't return that favour. Because all that you have is hatred. Nothing more, Nothing less. Hope you only vent to fill your empty space. Thats gonna make you happy rite.

You only do that for fun rite. maybe ppl should vent about you so that you will know how it feels. But you wouldn't be able to handle that. Thats why ppl don't do it. But you don't care do you. if that's wat makes you happy then do it. You practically live off it. Think about it. You been venting this entire year. good for you. Keep it up. soon it will kill you if you can't control it. no as many ppl will be as good to you as the 4 ppl that you've been venting about this year. Think about it.

~FA/TA

about me

Name:Dion

School:~~Smps~~SMSS~

CCA:~~Science club~~Red Cross~

Lives:On earth

Loves

Anime/Manga

Books by Malcom rose and Darren Shan

Music

Hanging out with my friends

Creating random crap with Priya and belle

Being a Red Cross-er

List of Wishes

My own laptop/Computer

~~Get a new wallet~~

0-Find someone that understands me in SMSS-0

O-Find sum1 like priya and belle-O

~~Get Good results for EOY~~

To finish all my homework

To be sucessful in: Grades, Red Cross,~~Keeping old friends~~, Making new ones

Stardust Trail

ur tagboard code here..

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Alice Evangelyn
Insane Sixes
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